How Do You Make the Relationship Work?

When people find out my boyfriend and I live about 12 hours apart, they respond with a pity look telling me how strong I am or with a confused look wondering why in the world would I wait around for a guy.

To be honest, some days I do feel sorry for myself and other days I contemplate transferring schools and moving back home to be near him. But then I remember why I’m we’re so far apart. The answer I come up with is that for right now, that’s where life has led us.

So all I can think to do is work my hardest to make the relationship I value so much work over the phone and computer. These are the top three decisions I’ve seen help our relationship the most.

UPDATE

Yes, it’s annoying and yes I do catch myself wishing I could get a simple hug. Yet, I’m going to take advantage of my freedom I college. Not in the dating other guys way, but in the focusing on other things rather than guys way.

I’m going to learn more about myself. I’m going to take interesting and pointless to my major classes and tell him about it. I’m going to go out with friends and try new restaurants and share with him what I ate. While he, does the same with his group of friends.

The point is that we take those new life and personal lessons/revelations and share them with each other.

We update each other on the small and big daily or weekly events. We don’t worry that something is too small or insignificant to share; small events can lead to major ones.

This way, we’re gowning together even when we’re apart.

BE TRUTHFUL

We tell the truth.

We say what’s really on our minds and we honestly admit how we’re feeling. We admit the good and the bad. Communication is key and will help the relationship run smoothly.

We don’t hide what you’re doing or who you’re hanging out with (boy or girl). It’s important to talk it through and let the other person know he or she has nothing to worry about.

TREAD CAREFULLY

One of the hardest emotions to wrestle with is loneliness. So I make sure to keep my actions and thoughts in check when I feel long distance lonely. I don’t put myself in situations where other guys comfort me without a second thought or spend all my time with people who aren’t encouraging of my relationship.

I try to rely on people who at least try to understand my mixed emotions and who will support me no matter what without making me doubt my hopes for the future.

Continue reading

Checklist! Packing Light for the Over Packer in Us

suitcase

I am an over packer traveler. I over pack whenever I travel, which isn’t good because as a college student away from home, who’s also in a long distance relationship I’m traveling a lot.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m 5’2” or that I look like a kid still, but whenever I travel there’s always one or two people who ask me if I need help with my bag(s). I’ve tried different hairstyles and dressing like a grown-up, and nothing. My heavy suitcase probably doesn’t help.

Anyways, I love short weekend trips and I love them most because those are the trips when I get to see my boyfriend. My best trips are when I go home for the weekend or to a city with friends and see my boyfriend.

But I’ve had to learn to pack light the hard way. After many, many times of dragging around my exploding carry-on, full of stuff I never wore, I got smart and thought about what it actually is I actually need to pack.

So here’s a checklist to help you pack light!

1. Figure out what days you’ll be traveling.

Plan how many days you’ll be gone to only pack as much as is necessary.

2. Choose and match.

Match two blouses with one skirt or one pair of pants.

3. One Dressy Suit

If you aren’t sure if you’ll be going to a nice place, bring one dressy outfit with shoes.

4. Necessary is Key

Only pack necessary toiletries and accessories. No need to bring all of your jewelry and

makeup. Be realistic when choosing!

Remember to not freak out about not having enough clothes or not being prepared, chances are you’ll be more excited about who you’re spending time with than what you’ll be doing.

It might take packing for longer than normal, and you probably won’t get it right first time around. But don,t worry, it’ll come with practice.

To see more tips about packing light visit Real Simple magazine website!

One Day at a Time

once_upon_a_time_  

The Breakdown

Last night I had the crushing feeling that I would never amount to anything I wanted. I sat on my bed and looked at my computer screen. I had just signed up for a “Computers Technology and Music” course and I was thinking, what am I doing?

I don’t know anything about recording music or using computer software to produce a song. I’m interested in it but I don’t know anything about it. Which you might say is the point of why I’m taking the class but that wasn’t the point.

All of my academic decisions lined up in front of me, swerving as I judged and doubted each one and how they were forming my future.

I want to be a writer. I want to write novels, I want to write screenplays and if a hobby turns into something more I’d want to write lyrics (which is where the class above comes in). Could I have picked harder and more unreachable dreams? Doesn’t seem like it.

Deciding on my last semester of classes, I felt the pressure of the ticking clock.

Not for the Fame

I live in a fast-paced world where people want results fast and expect the most out of everything.

Everywhere on the news I hear about young people signing record contracts, designing clothing lines, and becoming oddly famous on YouTube.

I don’t want to be famous and I know that choosing a writing career will not lead to bank account full of money. It’s as if we’re supposed to tap into our potential at age 6 and at age 10 we’re supposed to know what we want to do. So by the time kids hit puberty they’re making thousands of dollars an episode.

The thing is, when I was 10, I wanted to teach, or be a veterinarian. I didn’t realize writing could be a career.

Now that I know it can be, I’m working as hard as I can to become a master at my craft.

Sometimes I just think I picked one of the hardest careers in the world and other impossible dreams to chase and they’re going to come back and smack me right in the face.

The Realization

I was talking to a friend that night and he helped me realize that I have time. I don’t have to become an expert in one night. I don’t have to do everything I want right now. Setting priorities and goals is part of the journey. So right now, I’m focusing on screenwriting and completing my long-term project. After that, I’ll find another project. I’ll take it one day at a time.

Fear isn’t a good enough excuse to not follow your dreams.

Fear isn’t the motivator that should keep you awake at night. Drive is what should keep you awake. Achieving a goal or a dream is a day-by-day journey. It’s long days and long nights that I’m willing to work through to bind a finished manuscript and drop it off at a large wooden desk that will determine its future.

But I choose its future to. I choose how much I want this and how much I am willing to work for it.

So I’ll get up earlier than someone else. I’ll write longer. I’ll wait for my right day to come.

To read more about writing success, read Kristen Lamb’s blog.

Boy Meets World: The Sequel

boy meets world                       girl meets world

If you grew up in the 90’s, you most likely fondly remember the Boy Meets World as one of the most watched and quoted coming of age television shows. In November 2012, Disney publicly stated the future launch of a “sequel” to Boy Meets World: Girl Meets World.

Girl Meets World will follow Cory and Topanga’s daughter, Riley Matthews, as she grows up and maneuvers school, friendships, and love.

Ben Savage (Cory), and Danielle Fishel (Topanga) will be coming back to revive the high school sweethearts. Fans are hoping the characters Eric (Will Friedel) and Shawn (Rider Strong) return as well, but there is no confirmation of whether they will or not.

The Boy vs. The Girl

I’m half excited and half nervous about how this show will turn out. Will it have any traces of the show I followed for seven seasons? Boy Meets World’s story lines and life-lessons about friendship, young love, school, honesty and integrity intertwined with unforgettable characters and inspiring quotes.

Boy Meets World talked about teen’s problems of the 90s. Years later, what are a 13-year-old’s biggest struggles and issues today?

Teenage lives have changed drastically between 1999 and 2013. Add Facebook, Twitter, infatuation with texting, and laptops in school and you get a very different school environment. How are the creators of Girl Meet World going to deal with these changes?

Inside Look

OK! Magazine did an interview with Danielle Fishel about the new show, her television daughter, other characters, and the technological changes the show will have to take into account.

“There are definitely going to be things that would never have made sense as a storyline, or even be possible to be a storyline on Boy Meets World, that will absolutely have to be important in Girl Meets World.”

So how will Girl Meets World be different than its older generation? Will it still have a trace of core values at the center of the show? Maybe it’ll become someone’s new favorite show and it will provide new perspectives and heartfelt moments. Since the show is produced by Disney, I think we can rule out teen pregnancies from the mix. But I hope the show finds its own voice in the midst of other shows and the shadow of its preceder.

The Heart of the Show

At the end of it all, I’m excited! Boy Meets World taught us what it was like to fall in love, break up, fail a test, graduate college, and walk through life with your best friends right beside you. I hope that no matter how this show becomes or develops into, the heart of the show will remain the same while adding something new to the beloved series.

Show was set to begin production in March and will anxiously wait to air later this year.

Long Distance Dates

Friday night. Date night. Although a long distance date doesn’t include a nice car ride or holding hands at dinner, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a date.

You can have a virtual date!

long distance

1) The Time. Set up a scheduled time. Stick it to show your commitment and how much you value your time together. Let your friends know the date and time too, to minimize interruptions and distractions from others.

2) The Outfit. Don’t just wear sweatpants and an old t-shirt. Dress up a little. You don’t have to bring out the New Year’s Eve dress or the vest and tie. But try to pretend that this virtual date is the same as any other date.

3) The Food. Order the same kind of food (pizza, Chinese, Mexican, Italian) don’t stress if you don’t have the same restaurant chain around you both, as long as it’s in the same type of food it’ll help you guys feel like you’re together.

4) The Topics. Don’t just talk about your days and what you did and what you saw. Talk about past trips or memories. I recommend avoiding talking about the weather. Talk about your goals, short term and long term. Talk about your dreams and hopes.

5) The Activity. There are various activity sites you can visit after eating. Find an activity for you both to do. Sitting there looking at each other can become slightly depressing, so play a game! This blog post has several ideas of activities and games on the web: http://www.lovingfromadistance.com/thingstodo9.html

http://www.thedatingdivas.com/just-the-two-of-us/date-long-distance-style/

6) Have fun!

Movie Review – Like Crazy

like crazy

 

Movies about long distance have a high possibility of either turning into a cheesy hour and a half love story of either getting or losing the guy or girl or realizing they can’t live with one another and drop everything to move across the country.

Still, I can’t help but curiously sit through movies about long distance relationships, wondering if I’ll recognize myself in a character or a situation. So then, I watched Like Crazy.

Like Crazy follows Anna (Felicity Jones) and Jacob (Anton Yelchin) as they meet in an American University and fall in love. After spending a summer together, Anna returns to her home in England and is unable to travel back to the states. They try doing long distance for a while until the pain of separation is too much. And I’m going to tell you to watch the movie if you want to know the ending.

I saw scarily accurate dialogue pieces and haunting performances in this film. I could see my reactions in both characters my heart broke a little when the distance began. I smiled at their short time together and rooted for their relationship to work. The film made me think about the people we become.

Everyone changes, it might take years or four weeks, but we all change at some point. What happens when we change? Does that mean our love changes too? Are you fighting for the same person you knew back when, or the person he or she is now?

The film was beautifully directed by Drake Doremus.

The script was also what pulled me into the movie. Not only the dialogue but the subtle looks and touches between characters made me step into the story.

I recommend the movie, although I realize that not everyone will enjoy it.

Here is another take on the film.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/like_crazy/

As a writer, I’d love to hear what you thought about the story and the characters so feel free to leave a comment!

 

 

 

4 Steps to Ditching “The New Kid” Label

THE difficulty of starting a new school is both influenced by the academics and social aspects of the new place. Don’t worry. These tips will help you relieve the stress of being “the new kid” once you step inside the school.

Engage: Engage in class. Don’t sit in the back of the classroom and doodle in the margins and drool on your desk. Raise your hand, ask questions, and interact with your teachers and classmates. Teachers will see you are interested in learning and you will feel more comfortable talking in front of people. Everyone will expect you to be shy and insecure writing notes, but you will come off as an approachable individual.  

Get involved: Ask around about the various school clubs. Join a club you wanted to before but didn’t. Play a new sport or try out for the school play or musical. Exploring different talents or opportunities available will help you learn what your strengths are and what you are passionate about. Give the odd and popular clubs a chance; you never know where your calling will be.

Judging a Book: In my experience, the old saying is true. You cannot learn everything about a person in a glance. Take the time to meet and get to know your classmates. Maybe the snobby blond girl sitting behind you in history will become your best friend, or you may have the one of the most intellectual conversations with the class clown. 

Hanging Out: Pick your friends carefully. Friends can positively and negatively influence you. Don’t outcast those who are different than you but consciously choose with who and where you hang out outside of school. 

Remember, “the new kid” label can be dropped as soon as the school day is over. Be confident in who you are and don’t be scared to step out of your comfort zone and try something new. Learn what kind of person you want to be and improve your strengths and work on your weaknesses. Your new adventures await!   

 

About Me

blog picture

My name is Sarah Cespedes. I am a writer, and I hope to be so for the rest of my life. I love to read and listen to people’s stories.

I’ve been in a long distance relationship for three years now and still have one more to go.

I wanted a place where I could write and share my humorous and thoughtful insights on long distance relationships. My goal here is to also find the humor in the separation anxiety. Also, sometimes you just need to hear that it’s going to be ok.

There’s a sort of commonality between women in a long distance relationships. It’s ok when we vent, cry, and laugh in front of each other and share happy memories and talks because we understand.